Ash Wednesday: Facing Our Mortality

Shrove Tuesday: Cutting Away All the Fat

Mmmmmmm…..pancakes /drool

Today is one of my favourite feasts in the Church Year. Reason a) We get to have breakfast food for dinner…..always a plus! and b) It is a chance to reflect on where we have been, where we are, and where we are going as we head in to Lent.

The verb to shrive means to cleave, or to cut off. Traditionally, Fat Tuesday was the last opportunity to enjoy meat, eggs, and dairy products before the period of fasting 40 days before Easter.

The idea of getting rid of all decadence from one’s food, also came–in time– to apply to the soul as well.

Sin–that is, the times when we “miss the mark” and seperate ourselves from God– has been understood (especially by medieval theologians) as adding weight to one’s immortal self.

Any time we indulge in pleasure, like gluttony, lust, and pride…it was thought to shield the heart from God’s presence…covering it instead with a weight of guilt and shame, dragging it slowly to Hell……

Actually, if you think back to a certain Christmas story we see this idea still prevalent in English literature and theology:

Jacob Marley’s ghost, weighed down by his greed confronts Scrooge

So….if we fast to clean out our bodies, what can we do for our souls???? The answer lies in the ancient practice of Confession.

In Anglican services, the Sacrament of letting all our past sins go is usually a general affair, and is an integral part of almost every liturgy we celebrate. Sometimes though, something a little more personal is needed.

1:1 Confession is not a grocery list of sins, and saying a multitude of prayers to make up for our mistakes. At it’s best, the Sacrament of Reconciliation not only allows us to drop the chains which keep us tied down to worry, anxiety, and hopeless consumption, but to receive Spiritual Direction and healing.

In offering counsel to the penitent, the priest aims not to instill piety, but to guide each individual in such a way that helps avoid future chains. It also offers hope that even though we have fallen, we ALWAYS get another chance.

If there is anything which has you down, I would encourage you to try out Confession with a priest you are comfortable with, and would ask that as we walk with Christ together, you might pray for me, a sinner. +

Genesis: The beginning of Grace

So I haven’t been posting regularly, and you might not know this…..but over the past few weeks, the Lectionary for the Daily Office has been going through the Abraham cycle…that is, the story of Judaism’s founding patriarchs.

In light of my laziness…..let me bring you up to speed in where we are.

Last week, we heard the story of Jacob gaining the birthright of his older brother Esau which basically runs like this:

  Stew good, inheritance bad *NOM NOM NOM*

  Issac: I can’t see so good, is that you Esau???

Jacob:  Uh…….. yeah dad….. it’s me….feel my arms….hairy eh?

Issac: God bless you my son! You will have many sons and form a great nation!

  Issac: I can’t see so good….is that you Jacob?

Esau: No dad….it’s me your eldest son Esau….
Issac: What?!? Then who brought me lunch?
Esau: Jacob, I think….the little snot took my birthright!! Can I still have a blessing?

Issac: Nope

Esau: Can I please have a blessing?

Issac: Nope.

Esau: Pretty please with a cherry on top?!?

Issac: Alright, fine! You will be at the head of many great armies and shall win lots of battles, happy now?!?

Of course, I’m trivializing a bit, but this is essentially how the narrative runs. For an elder brother to lose his inheritance–especially through deception–was a big deal in the Ancient Middle East. It meant not only that he had less property, but also that he no longer had any authority in the family to make decisions about farming, migration, and settling in a new place. Essentially, it was to lose one’s voice in the family unit.

The severity of this drama is not to be overlooked….I believe this is what Dr. Phil would refer to as a deal-breaker….and in all likelihood meant that these two brothers were now bitter enemies for life; even as their own father predicts with his promise to Esau.

It should be noted too that Jacob knows that he has been sinful….check out the way he reacts when his brother is coming for him.

[Jacob] himself went on ahead of [his whole household and possessions], bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near his brother. (Gen 33:3)

These actions are not simply ones performed out of fear…..but repentance. In being at the head of the caravan, Jacob both takes responsibility for his actions, and allows his brother to strike him dead in plain sight….rather than hiding in the vanguard and allowing his household to protect him.

Jacob–along with the reader–fully expect for the elder brother to exact his revenge…to claim what is rightfully his, and do so with righteous violence. Jacob was expecting to get slaughtered:

Instead…..something crazy happens…..Esau opens his arms weeping…..not with tears of anger and resentment, but with tears of joy and love.

Jacob….who by all logic should be punished is forgiven. Two brothers who should be killing each other, instead find themselves in an embrace of reconciliation.

As I reflect on this passage, I can’t help but be struck at how often this theme comes up at the very beginning of God’s Word. At the Flood, God is remorseful and makes the decision to make all things new, in spite of humanity’s hatred and sinful behaviour.

Abraham..who goes out of his way to deceive the king of Egypt is blessed and deception is rewarded with prosperity. Issac…who is supposed to be sacrificed according to God’s command is spared at the last possible moment, and Jacob…the despicable younger son who lies to his family…is forgiven.

All too often, I think there is a tendency to believe that the Old Testament is harsh, unrelenting and rigid. That all crime and sin are punished to the utmost, and that there is no room for humans who cannot live up to YHWH’s holy standard.

And yet…the more I read these stories, the more I am convinced of something. Even here…as we read about and witness God’s action in the world from the beginning….there is room for Grace…there is room for surprise….and yes, there is a message of hope that the LORD can do marvelous things with even the most shady characters. +

Expressions of Prayer

As a newly ordained Deacon, part of my vows are to maintain the practices and disciplines of the Church. Part of that means that I am called to pray every day…primarily through the Daily Office.

Sometimes though….because I am human and need some variety, will go through periods where I exercise other practices in my prayer-life.

One of these traditions is that of the Anglican prayer beads which is a combination of the Dominican Rosary and an Orthodox Prayer rope.

In using this as a focus for prayer, the emphasis shifts slightly from concentrating on words of Scripture to focusing in on the person and work of Jesus. While there is still active thinking and feeling going on, the 33 bead repetition becomes almost automatic. The mind is free to focus on the fact that Christ is the Son of God who has come to save us.

Prayer beads are not the only alternative to the Daily Office……there is also a method of reading the Bible called Lectio Divina (Holy Reading)

For the specifics of this approach, check out the wiki article I’ve linked to. For me, this technique allows my inner academic to shut up. To read Scripture in a way that speaks to my soul and heart instead of my brain. To think about pastoral concerns rather than mere intellectual assent.

These two approaches to prayer are by no means the only ones available…..and I’m curious…….what are some reflection or prayer methods that you find helpful??? On the other side of this discussion……what are the aspects of prayer you find difficult????

Leave a comment below and let me know what you think. +

Reflections on a blessed Epiphanytide…..

Man am I ever behind…….Last time I posted was on Twelfth Night…..and now we stand a week away from Lent……..where did those six weeks go???

Although I have still been praying the Daily Office with some regularity, the month of January was both eventful and Grace-filled. While I wanted to post here, I often found myself with little or no spiritual energy left to come up with something creative to say.

For that I want to apologize

Now I’m back and I feel compelled to share some thought and reflection about what has been going on in my life…..

The biggest event in the last month without any doubt was my ordination to the order of Deacon:

The experience was at once joyful and sobering. On one hand, it was the realization of a life-long dream. On the other, I was faced with an unpleasant thought: Crap! I have to be an adult now .

While I know my status has changed, it feels very weird when people call me Reverend or Father, or Padre. I suspect that this shock will wear off eventually….It’s amazing what can happen if I throw on that black shirt and collar .

I am still me….but now I’m me with responsibility attached. I represent something that’s bigger than myself..which is something I try to do anyway…but now I find myself more conscious of it.

More than that though, I am struck by the fact that it finally happened….after hard work, some luck and amazing people around me.

Those people also include those who read and contribute to this blog. By your presence, I made it through a very dark time in discerning my vocation. Your honest and open sharing of your thoughts and challenges to my own have pushed me to be a better writer, theologian…but most important, a better person. If I don’t say it often enough…… thank you! <3

All in all…..I am left with this thought…which I hope will inspire you to pursue your own passions.

Dreams are real. Even amidst the crap, they can come true. We are never alone or without support. And God is amazing! +

Evening Prayer: Twelfth Night (Eve of Epiphany)

Psalms: 29, 98
Old Testament: Isaiah 66:18-23
New Testament: Romans 15:7-13

Movilio courting Olivia from Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.  Being the last day/evening of Christmas, January 5th is a popular night for festive celebration and entertainment in Britain.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13)

So distracted…….must…..post…..to…….blog :S

Seriously……I think I’m relishing in my laziness….I only have some 20 days of being slothful….after that, and being ordained, praying the Daily Office every day becomes part of a vow and something I can’t ignore lol

Tonight was one of the first evenings in a while that I felt myself missing prayer….so here I am….some 60 minutes later with some thoughts.

The quote from Romans above can be used as one of the closing lines of Morning or Evening Prayer….and I think it’s important for us to take some time to look at this whole peace and joy business .

As a former Roman Catholic, and finding myself in a fractured Church family…(although come to think of it, the Church is always broken)….I often find myself faced with walls of bias, mistrust, or outright distaste.

To give an example of what I am talking about….I have heard stories of RC clergy that have refused to give Anglican clergy the Eucharist. While this definitely falls within the priest’s jurisdiction of Closed Communion…it has always baffled me.

Similary, I find it odd when those who are ordained or involved in the Church “write off” or try to explain away the past atrocities of the institution they serve. For survivors of sexual, physical, and/or emotional abuse, those scars are real and don’t go away.

The message of the Epiphany though is that nothing that divides us is as strong as the the God who binds us together. The joy and peace that comes from believing is not necessarily a feeling of certainty…..but of a knowledge that we are part of something bigger….

Something that has the power to bring even the furthest apart to an intimate close relationship.

The walls of denomination, skepticism, or misguided behaviour mean nothing when we remember that God called the entire world “very good” and that his Son came to set up a tent with us in solidarity.

We are never alone…and while that notion can be scary sometimes…..it can also be the one thing that gives us something to hope for, and a joy to cling to. +

Happy New Year Everyone!

Just a little note to say that I’m back from vacation and will start posting again tomorrow

For the 8th day of Christmas, and to celebrate the new calendar year, I bring you a little bit of joy from the Muppets

On The 2nd Day of Christmas, A blogger gave to me…….

A song for the feast of St. Stephen, celebrated today

Christmas Day (December 25th)

For unto us a child is born, O come let us worship! +

Christmas Eve Sermon

Since I will be at Christmas services until midnight or shortly thereafter, I have decided to post my sermon notes/pointers in lieu of MP/EP. Keep in mind that this is not the script I use, as I rarely preach with notes in front of me…..but it conveys the basic gist.

I hope this night finds you surrounded by the love, peace, and joy of the Christmas season……Unto us, a child is born, Alleluia! O come, let us worship!

O Lord touch the words of my tongue so that only the truth may be spoken, and only the truth heard. Amen.

Merry Christmas everyone! For those who are visiting here, I hope you find this service one of warmth and hospitality as we all gather to celebrate the Nativity of our Lord.

I have no problem telling you that while I am joyful this evening, I am also incredibly nervous. This is my first opportunity to preach on Christmas Eve and I’m just a *little* freaked. I think part of the reason is that this holiday means so many different things to a whole lot of people.

I shared some of this anxiety via a FB status last week….and I got many solid pieces of advice. One of which was: “Keep it short, and sweet and they’ll love you forever”…I’ll definitely try and do that as we hear this gospel passage together.

The other bit of conversation that has been shaping my thoughts this week is a conversation I had with my girlfriend on Monday.

We were hanging out, and I asked her what Christmas was all about (half-expecting her to repeat Linus’ monologue from Charlie Brown’s Christmas) when she looked up at me and said with excitement “PRESENTS?!?”

We laughed about it at the time…..but for whatever reason it stuck in my head. I LOVE presents. I have fond memories of receiving all kinds of interesting gifts….like the one year I got a punching bag for Christmas…..which I think I touched maybe half a dozen times after the holidays……or the time when my sisters and I were taken downstairs to have a pool-table and air-hockey table magically appear before our eyes.

Not gonna lie. That stuff is awesome. And I’m very lucky that my parents had the resources (especially as they got older) to get us these gifts.

But why is it such a natural impulse to give gifts at Christmas? We all want stuff….but why would we spend 3 hours in a mob of people at the shopping mall to get it?

I think at the heart of it….when we buy or make someone a gift…..we are making a statement……

In presenting someone with a gift, we want to honour and surprise the person we care for by giving them something meaningful……to quantify—or make known in some sense—what they really mean to us.

I know that this year (at least for me) things have been financially tight. I haven’t been able to spend as much and sometimes feel like I’m being cheap……that my gifts don’t always accurately reflect what I want to say…..they don’t say “I love you” loud enough.

And that’s where tonight’s gospel challenges us. God wanted to give us a gift too….He wanted to shout to all humanity…..beyond everything else…..I love you…..

God could have given us anything…..piles and piles of gold…..he could have asked each individual in the world what they wanted and granted it…..and yet…..what do we find??? A baby wrapped in swaddling clothes.

Instead of “stuff” we get something else. Something we don’t expect…..An infant arrives in a stable……a light to those in darkness……Emmanu-el, God with us….to say without a doubt…..I want to give everything I have…..eveything that I am….to you. You are my beloved.

Oftentimes we don’t conceive of God as someone who WANTS to be with us…Rather it’s because he’s the big sky-god that needed to come down and save us from our sins….

But the message of Christmas is something entirely different.

God says that this night and tomorrow shall be his dancing day, I would my true love give the chance to see the legend of my play and call my true love to my dance. Sing O my love, my love, this have I done for my true love.

Through Christ becoming one of us, God invites us into a new way of living. A way that’s not based on stuff…..but on giving the gift that counts the most….our hearts.

The best way that anyone can express their love for another is to spend time with them, to weep with them when they cry, to laugh with them in times of joy, and yes even to dance when the occasion calls for it.

As you leave this place to celebrate the rest of the holidays, I leave you with this thought….indeed Christmas IS all about the gifts….but not the stuff we can find at the store……

It’s about giving the gift of ourselves to those who are important to us. To let them know exactly how we feel about them…and to extend that love to others who might not otherwise experience it.

Whenever you can, let people get to know you. Whether they be a total stranger on the street or someone you’ve known for a long time. And I say this not as some self-help lesson….but because in doing so, we are following the Christ who gave us the greatest gift possible…and allowed us to see God face to face. Amen. +